{source}

I was wandering around Pinterest last night (while watching the Rachel Zoe Project, love to hate it?) and stumbled across this simple quote (see above), and it really struck a chord with me. I know others have posted about this, but I haven’t spent much time thinking about what it really means to constantly be “busy,” both good and bad. So here’s my take:

I used to feel constantly busy in that harried, brink of hospitalization for exhaustion, extreme sort of way. Every day as a business owner can seem like a race from the moment I squint open my eyes, until I finally drift off to sleep. Even if I am not physically at work, I am using half my brain to think about it, worry about it, obsess over it. Only recently have we finished systemizing a lot of what we do and become so organized that we can leave the studio before 7 and enjoy being at home. This feels so incredibly luxurious and while half my brain is still occupied with business thoughts, the rest of me is enjoying some quiet and space. You would think this would be the ultimate dream. But a big part of me is simultaneously wondering, am I doing this wrong? Am I not working hard enough while enjoying the last 20 minutes of sun on the back patio, chopping fennel for dinner or catching up with randoms on Facebook? Shouldn’t I be working more? Even though I feel fully engaged with my work during the day, if I’m not actively doing something connected with it, even while at home, I feel guilty, uneasy and even a little edgy. If I’m not teetering on the farthest end of the “busy” spectrum I feel like something is WRONG. Why is that?

I think it all has to do with this glorification business. We work in an industry full of hard-working, visionary, dedicated entrepreneurs. Total badasses (yes, I said that) who I really admire. Almost everyone is legitimately BUSY in the truest sense of the word. They work until the early hours of the morning, get up before alarm actually goes off and much of the time forget to take lunch breaks. This is also me sometimes. But as I’ve been discovering that I have more time and that I don’t have to be chained to the laptop or press, I start comparing myself to my wedding industry peers and feeling like I am missing out on some important opportunity. Where is my hustle? But then seeing this quote I realized: This is ME “glorifying busy”. It’s not that everyone is glorifying their busy.  Some people are, but more importantly, I’m the one glorifying it and finding myself lacking somehow. Why do I feel like if I’m not constantly pushing myself to the edge of exhaustion that I’m not trying hard enough, even when we have an endless stream of wonderful clients and plenty of exciting projects offered to us? I think what it comes down to is that I need to redefine what I value about my work and my life and how I’m feeling. Happy, relaxed, and blissed out are not invalid and somehow inferior feelings to have. I need to start appreciating that I GET to feel those things and am at a place where I feel that way regularly. I’m realizing that I can be proud of the balance we have created in our lives. It shows a different kind of success, one that I shouldn’t feel ashamed of.

So, this is my commitment to appreciate those quiet moments when I am able, lucky enough even, to enjoy life beyond the AP. I’m going to stop glorifying busy, mine or someone else’s. I’m going to try to glorify being happy, living in the moment and feeling balanced. And when you ask me how I’m doing? I’m not going to tell you busy. Even if I am busy that day. I’m going to reply with happy, exhilarated, peaceful, blissed out, relaxed, or even sad or cranky.  Because all of those are just as good as busy, probably even better. And isn’t that the whole point?

Thanks, for listening.

xo, A

 

 

Pin It on Pinterest

Shares
Share This